by aramatzne@gmail.com | 23 Jul 2018 | Roads Taken
Part 22, A storm is coming in
9 Aug
The wind finally dropped off this evening. It was strong earlier in the day – 30-35mph. WooHoo! I spent a lot of the day hunkered down in the tent. It was nice this morning, almost clear, mild, and not too windy. By 1200, the wind was screaming, and it was dark and grim. It didn’t actually rain though. I read, finishing the Northern Woodlands and also read my current book – Memoirs of a Geisha.
After the wind died, I went for a long walk along the beach to the west. Watched some birds, thought, picked up stones and bones, looked at the ocean, listened to its rhythm, laughed to myself, and just was. I watched a sailboat go by out on the edge of the horizon. I think it was a sailboat – what else could it have been? I thought, “who would be crazy enough to go sailing in the Arctic Ocean?” And I laughed – who would be crazy enough to spend a summer alone on an island in the Arctic Ocean? Indeed.
The peregrine was in the colony again today, both this morning and this evening. This morning, the Jaeger chased it out – the Jaeger doesn’t want its food source damaged. I see the results of the Jaeger and peregrine pressure as some chicks have lost weight and many more are only barely maintaining. It could get grim in the next few weeks.
A satellite image of the 2000 Arctic hurricane over Alaska and Cooper Island.
13 Aug
Yup, another pile of days gone by, last I wrote it was a calm, mild evening. The following morning (10 Aug) started reasonably enough. Cool, 15–20 mph wind, out of the southwest. I radioed Dave and was ready to start the usual routine for the day. Dave told me the day before that there was supposed to be a big storm but nothing materialized so when he told me another big storm was coming through I didn’t think much of it. Then, almost as soon as we were off the radio, the wind picked up and didn’t let up. I decided to wait it out and, if it didn’t die down, give the birds the day off – and me too.
The door to the cook tent blew out around 1030. I checked on the Tango Echo site to make sure it hadn’t collapsed in the wind. I had trouble walking, and I could barely breathe – the pressure of the wind against my chest constricted my lungs limiting inhalation. As I walked, head down, gasping, I looked up to see a juvenile Arctic tern at eye level next to me trying to work into the wind. It was going backward and settled to the ground as soon as I passed.
Assured that the nest site was as secure as it could be given the conditions, I turned my back to the wind and flew to the tent. The antenna went down as I approached camp. The only big pot I have, the one I use to carry water, also took flight across the island. I gave chase for a minute and then just watched it roll and bounce, up, over the bank, and into the Arctic Ocean. Gone.
I gathered up field books, some food and drink, and the radio and went to my sleeping tent. The wind was ferocious. The cook tent was being battered, and the door was blown. George’s tent was holding its own but also taking some abuse. My tent was bowing and pulling but still relatively well set. I piled in. I read all morning, but I had to lie down because there was no room for me to sit up – the walls of the tent were trying to meet, and I was getting squeezed out of the middle.
It rained and snowed off and on, the tent walls were wet, as was the floor. I moved things around and piled them up to keep them out of the water. I jammed my sleeping bag into the only dry bag I had. I was getting dripped on. My parka was wet. I had to lie on my back because the fiberglass tent poles would smash into my hip or kneecap if I tried to lie on my side. Now and then a wave of sand or grit would hit the tent. I stuck my head out occasionally and could see the sand blowing across North Beach. There was a lot of flying debris – plywood, and boards. I was not exactly comfortable in my soggy tent eating my fourth peanut butter and jelly sandwich of the post-stove day, but I was happily reading and mostly content. I didn’t feel in danger. It was just a wicked storm.
About 1900, after 10 hours of this, I heard a helicopter. At first, I thought it was a trick of the wind, but no, there was the even steady beat of the rotors. I stuck my head out the tent door to see them coming in, low from the northeast, into the wind, ready to land. They set down right in front of the tent. I frantically tried to zip the tent door closed again as I saw the wave of gravel from the rotor wash coming at me. FIghting the wind-disfigured zipper, I barely pulled it closed as the tent lurched from the impact. I pulled on my boots and went out to meet the search and rescue technician jumping from the chopper. We met in the middle, he yelled into my ear, “There’s a storm coming in.” “Coming in?” I thought to myself. You mean it’s not already here? I was to go back to Barrow with them. Okay.
I grabbed my pack, threw in camera and binocs, bird book, this book (i.e., my journal), and the book I was reading, added my toothbrush and laundry – the important things – and was gone. Within about a minute of their landing, I was on board, buckling in, and we were taking off. Cool ride.
The island was getting pounded. They didn’t offer me a headset, but I grabbed the nearest one in time to hear the pilot say, “Flying plywood, great.” It was chaos. Waves were crashing against the north shore, eating into the bank. The pond in front of the tent was no longer a pond but had become part of the lagoon.
We went southwest into the wind and then swung east along the coast to a fishing camp. The camp boat was up against the beach, grounded on its side, not in a good way. We landed in front of the cabin and picked up just the kids.
We were across the lagoon, following the shoreline when terror struck me. I remembered that I left a half eaten peanut butter and jelly sandwich on top of the radio case. I imagined it stuck to the wall of the tent, sticky and slimy forevermore. But far worse, I committed the worst possible sin for a field biologist. I remembered my laundry, and left the field books, full of the summer’s data, in a neat stack next to the radio case and the half-eaten sandwich. My stomach turned. This crew already risked their lives to get my sorry ass off a desolate, forsaken island. No way I would ask them to go back. I watched the tundra roll away beneath me.
The ride was beyond description. Over the water the waves were tight and all white capped. The cat’s claws on the water’s surface were delicate given the force of the wind, and the foam was in perfectly parallel lines into the wind. The wind in the grasses and on the ponds of the tundra was gorgeous; wave after wave ran through the grass.
There were birds everywhere in the air – jaegers, terns, gulls, phalaropes, Brant – even a flock of snow geese on the ground. I’m not sure if they were just scared up by the chopper or if they were out cruising. Half a dozen caribou ran beneath us. The tundra was broken into polygons and ponds – beautiful, soggy, mosquito-ridden land. Snow was scudding along the ground, blowing, and driven across the tundra beneath me in white sheets.
The helicopter was also wild. The wind pushed it – the way a car skids sideways in the snow, the chopper skidded in the air. Driven by the wind the tail slid sideways, and several times I noticed that although we were moving forward, there was also lateral movement.
Landing in Barrow, Craig met me; he made the call to have me come in, concerned that the island, which is only 9′ above sea level at the highest point, would be washed over by waves and I would have nowhere to retreat. He thought I would be angry at being called in and asked how it was out there.”Fuckin’ awful,” I said but laughed and recanted. I didn’t feel in danger or need of rescue but made it clear I was happy to be in Barrow – where I could stand upright and eat something other than peanut butter and jelly.
We drove around town to check out the storm. The road to NARL and ARF was closed – washed out by the surf. They were working frantically to keep the road between Browerville and Barrow open, piling sand up with dozers, hoping it wouldn’t wash out. The wind and waves were phenomenal. It was quite the scene.
I had a shower and spent the night on a comfy air mattress… Aaaaah. Three showers in three weeks. That’s crazy.
By morning, the storm subsided, and the road crew had the road open again. Craig took me over to the ARF. I got a lot of hugs; they told me that they were laying bets on whether I would pop my PLB (personal locator beacon – an emergency distress call that alerts search and rescue that you are in need of help) but decided that was no good because they knew I wouldn’t. The final story: sustained winds of 56 mph and gusts in the 70s. Highest Gust: 79 mph.
So, I went beachcombing with the folks from ARF, cut off a seal’s head (for the skull to go to the research collection), saw lots of birds, and found a baby seal working its way across Point Barrow. We grabbed it by the flippers and carried it to the water. The day was incredibly cold and raw; we went as far as the boat launch before turning back. Back at ARF, everyone pitched in with ingredients and help, and we made two giant dishes of enchiladas.
Yesterday was just as cold and raw and nasty, and snowing steadily. Craig was ready for a boat trip, so after a huge preparation scene with a ton of people, we got it all together, loaded the gear, including a new tent, got to the boat launch and decided it was still too rough and windy and yukky. Retreat. Plan B.
Somewhere late last night, after crashing at the ARF, Craig called to see if I was ready to go – it sounded like he was 50/50 for going then or in the morning. I was 100% for the morning. The thought of facing the camp in the middle of the night was too much – I would have been compelled to clean it up with zero sleep. We didn’t go, but orders were, be ready by 0700.
Checking out the Lagoon in the morning, we decided it was a go. The boat trip was wet and rough; the seas were high, it was grey, and sleeting/snowing. We saw murres and a puffin and lots of Sabines. We followed the archipelago east and then cut across to the south to avoid the currents in the cut between Tapkaluq and Cooper but went too far east on the coast bypassing the island. It was cloudy with little horizon so easy to misjudge, we figured out our location, and working back to Cooper, landed on the west end of the island.
The camp was trashed. The cook tent blew 10’ or 15’ and was lying on its side open, full of sand and water. The tarp stayed with its stakes; the tent blew out from underneath; the fly was shredded. My tent blew about 20’ and was stopped, it seems, by the 5-gallon water container and the munitions box full of banding gear that I tied to the fly. It was thrown around a bit, and the poles were bent but mostly functional. George’s tent is badly worn but stayed more or less where it was, and the fly is shredded.
We set up the new tent, and the antenna. Craig radioed Dave. I emptied my sleep tent into the new tent, resetting the old tent as the new cook tent. Everything in my tent was thrown around, but it wasn’t too wet or ruined. The abandoned sandwich flipped and stuck to the radio case. The forgotten data books were all there and intact. Phew.
Craig had to leave before the wind picked up and I was, again, on Cooper alone with a lot of cleaning up and general mayhem to contain. I worked on the tents for a while. There was a chick hiding in camp, I figured out where it belonged, and returned it forgetting that George said not to return chicks to their nests – oh well, I only did that one. I ate and then walked the colony.
There is a lot of damage and dead or missing chicks. Serious carnage. All I did was take inventory. Tomorrow I will collect dead chicks and fix what sites I can. Another chick walked through the camp, and I saw a third paddle across the little cove on the Bay in front of camp. George also told me if the chicks aren’t getting enough food they will walk away from their nest site. Wow. There were about 40 chicks that were just gone from their nests. The predators, the storm, and the snow have taken their tolls. I finished rebuilding camp – well for the day. I walked to the other end of the tundra patch this afternoon. There was evidence of the waves washing over the island at the narrowest point, a whole new wrack line, and all sorts of new stuff on the shore. One of the giant tanks moved by the ice push is about 100 yds from where it was – the surf is roaring, and it is cold again. Summer is long gone, and winter is well on its way. Enough, I must sleep.
by aramatzne@gmail.com | 16 Jul 2018 | Roads Taken
Part 21, Cooper time – night divides the day
Black Guillemots rest on ice floes in the fog off Cooper Island, Alaska.
5 Aug
I half dragged myself out of bed this morning at 0630. Had just gotten my pants and socks on and was opening the door when the first wave of rain hit the tent. It hasn’t let up since; that was 12 hours ago. I did a quick colony stroll. The Parasitic Jaegers seem to be working the colony hard. There were also two puffins again. I spent most of the morning in the tent eating and catching up on the data and notes George left. As hard to believe as it may be, his notes are more disjointed than mine.
It rained the whole day, all of it. No break. I did all of the nest checks in the rain. My clothes are no longer waterproof. I washed my chick-shit-covered jacket and rain pants in Barrow, and I think that was the end of any waterproofness. I wore my insulated bibs though today, and they got wet right through the knees and seat. It just pelted me the whole time, and I doubt anything would have kept me dry. My jacket did better than I expected. There were a couple of tears at the back of the neck that I stitched up this morning. I thought it would leak there, but it was more of a slow seep across my shoulders and at my elbows. Somehow I displeased the rain gods and expect the rain to continue indefinitely. For a short time, I had this ridiculous hope that since July had been so wet, August would come around clear and fine. Right.
6 Aug
Lots of bird activity today. There were hundreds of Xena, Glaucous Gulls, terns, and phalaropes (well, not so many terns). It was a busy, raucous day for the birds. It stopped raining sometime in the night and was nice in the morning – it never cleared but there were a few blue patches. I did a few rotations around the colony and nest checks; I weighed and measured all of the little buggers. George banded a lot of chicks already, which is great.
My hand seems to be seriously lacking in motor control tonight. It is cold and stiff and not responding well to my directions. I walked for two hours after dinner. Up through the tundra and back along the north beach; I crossed at Far West, back again along the lagoon side. The annual barge to Prudhoe Bay went by this evening.
7 Aug
Oddly enough, the barge to Prudhoe Bay returned this morning – it hadn’t been unloaded, and another ship followed it. A Greenpeace boat intercepted it, boarded it, and told it to return to Barrow – I don’t know what the issue was or why the captain listened. Dave told me he heard of the boarding on the radio.
It was gray and foggy when I awoke. Surprise! Eventually, it turned to showers and rained off and on through the day. Again there are lots of Xena though not so many as yesterday, and Red Phalaropes also abound. Did the usual weighing and measuring round.
I was thinking today about how fluid time is here, even though I sleep regularly and for the usual (more or less) amount of time, one day runs into the next undivided. It seems to be a perfect continuum of time. It is always light, day and night it doesn’t matter when you go to sleep or when you wake, it is light. The only apparent divide between day and night is the temperature. (You know the day destroys the night/night divides the day/tried to run/tried to hide/break on through to the other side – thanks, Jim!) Sometimes I think of an event that occurred, and it will seem only this morning even though it may have been days ago. I’m often sure I did one nest the previous day but may well have missed it altogether for a couple of days. Even the weather has been so much the same – endless periods of gray, fog, and rain it doesn’t help to divide the time at all. Even though I measure out large chunks of the day with my watch, the passage of time seems unremarkable. There is hardly any difference between the heat of the noonday sun and the late evening light. It is often so diffracted by clouds or fog that it never seems brighter or higher or stronger. I’ve not even seen the passage of the sun through the sky in a single day. I haven’t the slightest idea what the arc may be. In the middle of the night I have seen it low on the northern horizon, and early in the morning, I have seen its place to the north and east and a little above the horizon. I don’t know, however, where its course lies in the southern sky. It has been all the same diffused and flat light that tells me nothing about its path.
I must say, I am sure that if I had been faced with this much gray and fog back east, I would have been a very depressed camper long ago. Even the eternal rain I endured my first summer in Maine and that I slogged through the second year wasn’t as ominous and all present as this unyielding gray. Each time the wind shifts I think, surely now the clouds will clear and some nice weather will move in from whichever direction. Alas, it changes not. It only makes me scurry around to rearrange the position of wind blocks and reset things so they are in the lee of the wind. It doesn’t actually change the weather. I fear that the passage of time in August will only bring colder weather not drier. I do not look forward to that.
Yesterday, and again today, I laughed to myself about when I met QQQ I had $6 to my name and no bank account and when I left him I closed the account I had and spent the withdrawn $300 to throw him a party. Full circle. Poverty and adventure. A much nicer mantra and way of life than slow decay in the known.
Give as much as you can. Receive what is given freely. Balance the two.
Never overflow; never be empty
8 Aug
It was mostly dry today, a few passing sprinkles and showers. It was gray and cloudy most of the day, but for a short while this afternoon it was sunny and fair. The bright, low light was intense and glorious. When the sun actually shines there is a quality to the air that is amazing. It is crisp and clear, and with the binocs, everything is sharp and in focus. It is astonishing.
Summer on Cooper Island’s tundra patch.
There was a peregrine falcon in camp today. I was weighing a chick when I saw it coming straight toward me. It went right over my head and hung for a long minute on the air currents just behind me before swooping low and away across the wastelands and over the pond. It landed in sub-colony 52 and then disappeared. Later, I walked down to the Sardine Box looking for it, but I got distracted by the phalaropes and flushed it before I saw it. When it went over me the first time, I could see the barring on the breast and the dark helmet.
The Jaegers were back working the north side of the colony. They are remarkable; they patrol the north beach, watching as guillemots come into the colony with fish in their bills and then they chase them until the guillemot lets the fish go. The Jaegers are fast and maneuverable and can drop on a dime. The BGs can keep speed but not for long and give up the fish pretty quickly. There doesn’t seem to be more than one or two Jaegers at a time but between them, the puffins, and now the peregrine they are very jittery and in constant flight –as in fear – fight or flight.
by aramatzne@gmail.com | 9 Jul 2018 | Roads Taken
I started this Cooper Island series back in February 2018 with a post from 29 July 2000, Sensory Deprivation, that chronologically fits here.
Part 20, another trip abroad
Black Guillemots sunning themselves on the Cooper Island beach.
31 July 2000
I just finished reading Bob Kimber’s “A Canoeist’s Sketchbook.” It made me all excited about doing some paddling and being on the water. Looking out from my tent as I read I can see the Bay of Jaws water and the waves rolling across it – the wind never stops here. Finishing the last few pages on wilderness I set the book down and stepped out of the tent – suddenly confronted by the reality of Cooper Island, not the comfortable, warm camp feeling I had assumed from the book. It is still 34º and windy and foggy and gray – I just forgot that while reading about Labrador and poling upriver and wet feet. How readily transported I was!
1 Aug
3 Aug
Well, guess I didn’t get to write much on 1 Aug… so that makes a while since I wrote. George made another splash appearance on Tuesday, 1 Aug. He was supposed to arrive by boat. I was about to radio to say there were two puffins in the colony but before I could do that, a helicopter landed, filling the tent with sand and blowing down the antenna. First thing was food and radio check. We walked the colony in the afternoon, weighing and measuring birds, talking and laughing. It was a lot of fun, really, both to have someone else to do the kneeling and to just shoot the breeze about everything and nothing. Much to my dismay, there was a new set of eggs in one of the long-empty nests I had stopped checking.
The next morning, 2 Aug, after two months on Cooper Island, I saw the sun set for the first time. I woke up at 0155 to see it – long strings of clouds, gold and red and brilliant. A little later the very top edge of the sun skimmed the horizon as it began to rise again. I could sit up in my tent and watch. I woke in time to see the sun clear the horizon and rise fully into the sky at 0312 or some equally early time. I was up at 0530 and wandered the colony.
The beach with sand plowed high by ice slabs breaking up and moving off the Arctic Ocean onto Cooper Island.
There are a lot of shorebirds flocking up, and the Parasitic Jaegers have found both the pond and the guillemots. They were working the area pretty hard. There was a swallow – I think a rough-winged swallow but am not sure – that visited George and me on the previous day (which was also the most spectacular and beautiful, sunny, warm day for this year – George kept saying “I don’t deserve this day, I didn’t live through all the rain and fog…” I agreed, of course.) Anyway, the Jaegers, they were relentlessly harassing the BGs for the fish they brought in for their chicks. They are phenomenal flyers, and it was cool to watch – even if they are not good news for my little birds.
George listened to the radio and the birthday announcements while I tried to figure out what the swallow was. Before George arrived on the island, I read him the riot act claiming proprietary rights over the camp and all of its sand-free contents. He is trying to be good, but I can tell it’s hard. The concept of not wanting sand in everything and throughout my food and everything else is utterly foreign.
We agreed I could get off the island for a day or so depending on weather and boats and timing. Dave radioed that he was gassed up and ready to go as he didn’t think the weather would hold into the afternoon. I was packed (taking a lot of unused stuff) and ready to go by the time Dave arrived – the wind had picked up but was at our backs for most of the trip. George was a bit put out that people at the ARF were excited to hear I would be in for a few days– I assured him that it was not because he was going out. They asked when I was coming in and what I wanted for dinner – I told them anything without sand that came with a clean fork would be fabulous. George was jealous no one offered to make him dinner. Anyway, it was nice to be in the ARF with the joking and bustling and general upbeat life attitude. After grocery shopping and a communal effort with cooking, we had a big stir-fry –you know you’ve been on an island in the Arctic for a long time when vegetables that were probably picked 4 weeks earlier qualify as Fresh – and then chocolate brownies and ice cream.
Meanwhile back at the ranch, there were packages and letters. One letter included this quote, “why have roots if you’re not allowed to grow? Why have wings if you’re not allowed to fly?”
I spent the day in the ARF tracking things down and finding info for tax forms – my SS# card replacement form. Blah, blah, blah.
4 Aug
Yesterday I made dinner for the ARF crew. A giant pot of black bean soup/chili – we coined it chiloup – and oatmeal muffins. The veggies and beans came from the Stuaqpak; I scrounged other necessary items from a variety of sources. We had a great dinner – lots of laughter – and Indian pudding for dessert. Today I spoke with Craig briefly about working on the whale census next spring. He said write a letter and a resume. Last year’s hires have preference but since they know me… It was good to tell him of my interest. He was shocked to realize I had been on Cooper since May.
Dave had a helicopter coming in so couldn’t take me back to Cooper. Instead, Benny from ARF, Charlie (the big boss), and Craig put the big boat in the water to take me home. It was a fast trip and comfy.
George was not prepared to leave but jammed a bunch of stuff together, and we dragged it to the boat. The afternoon cleared off beautifully, but the wind was switching and picking up again. George was in crisis/panic mode disjointedly talking about 50 things at once, trying to put his stuff together and half trying to figure out what he was doing. When they got off the beach and headed back, I turned to find one of George’s duffels still lying halfway down the beach. I yelled and waved my arms; Charlie saw me in time to turn back. I collected the offending bag and sent them on their way again.
Craig was a bit dismayed by the whole camp scene. The lack of a wall tent was particularly striking to him. I agreed. Interesting that the camp was thoroughly trashed. I finished the nest checks and chick detail and then spent the rest of the afternoon reclaiming the camp, moving the table back into place, clearing sand and junk out of the cook tent, moving around food and windbreaks. Washing the pots that were dirty and full of gross food residue. Ick. George did apologize for that later when we spoke by radio. We did all of the Guillemot checking in, catching up on colony news and project needs. He was going off to play softball with Dave this evening. The ARF crew also radioed to say they picked flowers for George and were making him a special frozen dinner.
I’m back on Cooper. For a few minutes, while being shit upon by a wily Guillemot, I was not happy. Then the wind picked up, and the rain came, and somehow that washed away the feeling of being alone and the idea that things were happening without me. Of course, things are happening without me. I have to figure out how to make things happen for myself and what I want those things to be.
An Arctic Tern egg lies alone in a shallow nest on Cooper Island.
by aramatzne@gmail.com | 3 Jul 2018 | Roads Taken
The Painted Hills of Central Oregon
Moonscape with Moon.
by aramatzne@gmail.com | 2 Jul 2018 | Roads Taken
Part 19, the songs of summer
Black Guillemots enjoy the summer water, ice floes and all, off Cooper Island.
25 Aug July
I am now paying for the nice weather I so cheerily wrote about the other day. It rained most of the night and has been sleeting and snowing and blowing a gale all day. Ye-ha. I’ve been busy with chicks, they are rolling in fast and furious. It’s too cold and nasty to push anyone off the nest if I don’t have to so I’m not pushing them. It seems they all weigh the same and have the same length wing the first day anyway. It is probably I who is in need of shelter from the cold and wind, but I’ll still try not to push anybody.
The folks who brought pastries – Mike and Patsy – returned on their way back to Barrow. They left me a whole white fish – yummy. I cleaned it and filleted it then pan fried half and made fish chowder out of the other half. I sacrificed a whole can of evaporated milk to the cause. I would rather have good chowder than a week of coffee. I hadn’t expected such a delight, but it was welcome!
George is planning to be in Barrow on Sunday and will come out here, weather dependent, on Monday. I’m not sure how long he will stay, but I’m going to tell him that if he moves one thing from its current location and drops it in the sand, I will have to kill him. That’s all there is to it. 🙂 I’ve spoken regularly with folks at ARF. There was a round of Guess the Product yesterday (BBQ sauce) – it took me a while to figure it out since I never use the stuff – the first ingredient: modified corn syrup… Yuk. Other news from ARF: the king eider chick is eating like crazy but somehow hurt its leg. So it goes. Dave is busy with the fish folks- they got their supplies to Atqasuk but didn’t have any TP for the summer– oops. There’s no helicopter fuel.
I was thinking today about the songs that have randomly wandered into my head since I’ve been here – first it was Gordon Lightfoot’s “That’s what you get for loving me” – everything you had is gone, as you can see, that’s what you get for loving me. Then the Neville’s “Thank you, Miss Rosa, you are the spark, started our freedom movement. Thank you, sister Rosa Parks.” Then the title song from Oklahoma (egad!), “O-k-l-a-h-o-m-a (except I kept doing it as H-m-o-a-…) and the land we belong to is grand.” Then Bruce Springsteen’s “I ain’t nothing but tired/Man, I’m just tired and bored with myself/Hey there baby, I could use just a little help/You can’t start a fire/You can’t start a fire without a spark/This gun’s for hire/even if we’re just dancin’ in the dark/Message keeps getting clearer/Radio’s on and I’m moving ’round the place/I check my look in the mirror/I wanna change my clothes, my hair, my face/Man I ain’t getting nowhere/I’m just living in a dump like this/There’s something happening somewhere/Baby I just know that there is.” Yesterday, I woke with Bonnie Raitt’s “Run like a thief” – How sweet the wine of desire. It’s both interesting and annoying to have one or two lines so solidly wedged in my mind that it occupies whole days (and weeks) and is the first thought when I wake. The worst stretch of days was when “Convoy” lodged into the deepest reaches of my head and filled every waking and most non-waking minute. “‘Cause we got a little convoy/rockin’ through the night/Yeah, we got a little convoy/Ain’t she a beautiful sight? …an’ Eleven long-haired Friends a’ Jesus in a chartreuse micra-bus.” Wow. That was painful.
I had another dream last night from which I woke startled and afraid. I only remember the end. We (me and several unknown people) were in a house; maybe I was supposed to stay there – I don’t know, but everyone went out. As I went back to turn off a light, I thought I should have someone stay with me; I was afraid. As I turned to ask, I saw the door close and everyone moving away. I couldn’t get to the door or say anything. I tried to call out, then tried to yell, and found I could neither move nor speak. The effort of trying to scream woke me. I jolted awake; I didn’t open my eyes (or maybe they were covered). I lay in the dark, awake, and startled. That’s twice in a week. Why am I feeling trapped? Trapped enough to be having such dreams. I am locked into nothing; I owe no one anything. I have no obligations. Perhaps that’s it. I’m trapped in my demands. This lack of stability, my boastful attitude of not needing any solid ground. No one would taunt me if I settled down for the rest of my life tomorrow. No one would be surprised, either, if I didn’t. So, why do I feel trapped? I have to face it all sometime.
I read a bit today and wrote a couple of letters. Too cold, raw, and nasty out there to be out and about. Too bad, I would like to check on the tern and Xena chicks. I haven’t been down that way in a few days. I also want to take photos of the freshy-bugger guillemot chicks, but it is too nasty to have them out of the nest longer than necessary. Maybe tomorrow I can flush somebody and take photos.
27 Aug [sic, actually July]
Where will I be in 10 years? Phew. I can’t even imagine where I will be next month. Well, OK. I’ll be on Cooper Island next month, but the month after that I have no clue.
The weather continues to be awful. Cold and raw, the wind switched around to the NE and picked up speed, remarkably. I spent today walking, in the colony and along the shore, it was pretty brutal, but I wanted to be out nonetheless. There is a lot of bird movement these days. The guillemot prospectors are in town, scoping out sites for next year. I thought I had pretty well eliminated the ranks of unbanded and cohort banded birds; there were a dozen or so left to catch. Then all of a sudden, numerous unbanded and cohort birds started appearing and sent me into despondency. I can’t band now as it is too late in incubating and too early in hatching. I watch and weigh and measure chicks.
This morning when I woke the sun was shining through the strips of cloud, heavy, dark, and 3-dimensional, crowding along the northern horizon and there was a dark, impenetrable wall of fog on the western edge. It soon moved in to obliterate the light and what little warmth there was in it.
While I was out this morning, in the distance over the water, I saw a line of common eiders, 70 or 75 of them moving west, single file. They flirted with the fog and the waves, growing faint in the thick gray air and then standing out sharply again. The line flew ever forward but also as if the energy of a wave was moving through it – as the wave rolls through water. The line never broke, if the lead bird dropped to the water the others followed in turn; when the lead bird rose again the undulation flowed through the birds and continued as they passed. Eventually, they disappeared into the mists and were gone. There is something striking about watching so many birds in a single line. Eiders almost always seem to move this way and, when they are out of lines, it only takes a few minutes for them to regain their structure, never losing ground or speed. Just as shorebirds know when to turn, land, or take off in synchrony with the hundreds of other birds, the eiders always seem to find their order and where they fit. Amazing really, and pleasing to see that long row stretch out across the sky, across the water through the fog.
An Arctic Tern chick lays low on the Cooper Island gravel.
Tomorrow I will walk down to the tundra again – I went yesterday for a bit. The tern chick is getting fat and is hard to see even still. Its parents always give it away, if it weren’t for them hovering and harassing me I would never find it. There are a dozen or so long-tailed duck babies on Pasta Pond. Gosh, are they cute? The pintails are back, and the eiders are more noticeable. The long-tails are probably still down the island, but I haven’t gone to look. Lots of glaucous gulls, they seem to have increased. I wonder what early dispersers I might see over the next month – there are already lots of western sandpipers.
